By Rabbi Jason Miller

            For any midrash, it is imperative to discover both the conclusion (or conclusions as the case may be) that the rabbis are drawing, as well as the individual who is the focus of the homily. [4]   This particular midrash contains a specific message as well a more general exposition of a verse from Scripture.  That our bodies are on “loan” [5] from God is the obvious message the rabbis take from the parable of Rabbi Meir’s wife; yet, it is the fact that the rabbis chose this particular story of Beruria as an example of a “woman of valor” that comes to reveal the general lesson of this midrash – that it is Beruria and not God who successfully reveals God’s justice in the face of a seemingly evil tragedy.  The rabbis chose this extreme case to reveal what it takes to be an eshet hayil, for what a rare find is a capable wife.

 

Rabbi Meir sat learning Torah on a Shabbat afternoon in the House of Study.  While he was there, his two sons died.  What did their mother, Beruria do?  She laid them upon the bed and spread a linen cloth over them.  At the end of Shabbat, Rabbi Meir came home and asked her, ‘Where are my sons?”  She replied, ‘They went to the House of Study.”  He said, “I did not see them there.”  She gave him the havdalah cup and he said the blessing for havdalah.  Then he asked again, ‘Where are my sons?”  She said, ‘They went to another place and they are coming.”  Then she gave him food to eat, and he ate and said the blessing.  Then she said, “I have a question to ask you.”  He said, “Ask it.”  She said, “Early today a man came here and gave me something to keep for him, but now he has returned to ask for it back.  Shall we return it to him or not?”  He replied, “He who has received something on deposit must surely return it to its owner.”  She replied, “Without your knowledge, I would not return it.”

 

Then she took him by the hand, brought him to the bed, and took away the cloth and he saw his sons lying dead upon the bed.  Then he began to weep and said about each, “Oh my son, my son; oh my teacher, my teacher.  They were my sons, as all would say, but they were my teachers because they gave light to their father’s face through their knowledge of the Torah.”  Then his wife said to him, “Did you not say to me that one must return a deposit to its owner?  Does it not say, “The Lord gave, the Lord took, blessed be the name of the Lord” (Job 1:21 )?  R. Hanina teaches that therefore, she comforted him and quieted his mind.

            The lesson of the parable is that our bodies are a “gift of life” from God and when the loaner comes calling for the loan to be returned, we must comply.  For understanding this “fact of life,” Beruria is depicted as more than just a “comforter” in this midrash.  Had she been a prophet not directly affected by the tragedy, then her actions and words would not have been as impressive.  However, it must not be forgotten that she was the mother of the two boys who died, and rather than begin to grieve for her sons, she devised a well-calculated plan (parable in this case) to bring solace to her husband.  What role was Beruria playing in comforting her husband?  Woman of valor?  Rabbi?  God?

            Beruria’s parable had a positive effect on Rabbi Meir’s reaction to the death of his sons.  We know this from Rabbi Hanina’s statement: In this manner she comforted him and brought him solace, hence, it is said, What a rare find is a capable wife (Prov. 31:10).  Beruria is to be praised for her well thought plan to deliver the news of her family’s tragedy in a calm and creative fashion.  She easily could have been hysterical in light of this tragedy, but instead she chose to teach her husband a valuable lesson and in so doing, played the part of pastoral rabbi, beneficent God, and a woman of valor all at once.

            Marc Bregman uses this midrash as an example to demonstrate how the rabbis can use midrash to move from constrictive interpretation to allegory.  He writes, “The Rabbis sometimes interpret the Bible in a constrictive way, by applying a general statement to specific cases.  For example, the verses which praise the ‘woman of valor,’ which conclude the Book of Proverbs are applied to specific biblical figures, post-biblical figures (such as Beruria, the wife of Rabbi Meir) and even personified abstractions such as the Torah (Midrash on Proverbs 31:10 et seq.)” [6]   From the question of what it takes to be an eshet hayil, the rabbis tell of a parable that teaches more than simply the characteristics of a woman of valor whose worth is more than that of rubies.

            A similar narrative to this is the death of Nadav and Avihu, Aaron’s sons (Lev. 10:1-2).  The main distinction between the two narratives is that while Aaron’s sons also died tragically and for similar reasons, [7] Aaron did not have anyone the likes of Beruria to comfort him and bring him solace.  We are told vayidom Aharon, that Aaron was silent after his sons’ death (Lev. 10:3).  This comes to show how crucial a role Beruria played in her husband’s reaction to the tragic news.  Beruria would also receive praise from the rabbis from a halakhic perspective.  When a death occurs on Shabbat, as the death of her sons did, one is forbidden to take care of the legal requirements for burial until after Shabbat.  Further, we are prohibited from mourning on Shabbat.  Beruria did want to put her husband in a position where he would violate Shabbat and therefore she waited until after he made havdala, ate a meal, and recited the Grace After Meals until presenting him with her parable as a way to inform him of the tragic news.  In this vain, Beruria certainly displayed the she will do him good and not evil all the days of her life (Prov. 31:12).

            A similar praiseworthy story is told of Beruria in which she teaches her husband a lesson: 

There were once some highwaymen in the neighborhood of Rabbi Meir who caused him a great deal of trouble.  Rabbi  Meir accordingly prayed that they should die.  Beruria said to him, How do you make out [that such a prayer should be permitted]?  Because it is written, “Let hatta’im, cease?”  Is it written hot’im? It is written hatta’im!  Further, look at the end of the verse: and let the wicked men be no more.  Since the sins will cease, there will be no more wicked men!  Rather pray for them that they should repent, and there will be no more wicked.  He did pray for them, and they repented.  (Berakhot 10a).

            Beruria teaches her husband a lesson for life in the story from the Talmud, but also keeps him from harm.  So too, in the narrative of Midrash Mishle, she teaches Rabbi Meir a lesson about betzelem Elohim and our bodies being a gift on loan from God; but more important, she keeps him from harm.  Had she not devised a parable to prepare her husband for the tragic news, he could have caused himself great harm in his shock upon hearing of the calamity.  One must also consider the cost of Beruria's stoicism at this time of personal tragedy to her. She was overly considered with how her husband would take the shocking news that she ignores her own needs to cope and grieve for her sons. This reaction poses pastoral problems, but Beruria must be commended nevertheless for her actions.

            This midrash comes to teach many lessons, but the most important is that it serves as a fine example of what it takes to be an eshet hayil – a woman of valor.  In answering the question, what a rare find is a capable wife (Prov. 31:10), this midrash teaches not only what a capable wife Beruria was to Rabbi Meir, but also how brilliant she was even in a time of great familial tragedy.  Under the pressure and trauma of her sons’ premature death, she remained calm and devised a parable to bring comfort to her husband in a way that even God did not.  She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the Torah of loving kindness (Prov. 31:26).